This seems to be the summer of the wedding crasher for several of my clients. While we have only had one instance where actual un-invited guests showed up to the festivities, we've had several circumstances in which guests are RSVP'ing for more than the said invited guests. In fact one guest responding for 15 people! Other's want to bring uber-distant relatives, friends, and adult children. This has been a tough etiquette call to make, but here is what I advise our clients to say:
1. Thank you for your enthusiasm about our wedding day!
2. While we'd love to have everyone there, we do have space/budget constraints.
3. Therefore, we can only extend the invitation to you, not _____.
4. Thank you so much for understanding!
My other word of advice, when you are getting your RSVP's in and notice a discrepancy from your carefully tailored guest list, chat with someone neutral about that particular circumstance (mom, planner, friend). Then make a decision to allow it or confront it....if you want to un-invite the un-invited guest then do it quickly....like pulling off a bandaid!
Tomorrow marks my 7th {!!!} anniversary with my husband. We both have hectic weeks ahead, so we've had a laid-back weekend. One thing we said from the start of our relationship was 'no gifts'....but there are exceptions to the rule. This year my husband upgraded me to an iphone so I found him a cool lamp for his 'man-cave'. In case you and yours love giving gifts, here is a traditional and modern anniversary gift guide for anniversaries 1-10:
Congratulations to all the newly engaged brides and grooms! Besides calling your family and friends to share the good news and perhaps calling a wedding planner, what do you do next? Here is your 'Just Engaged To Do List':
- Enjoy the moment and celebrate!
- Have a serious talk with both families about budget and money.
- Determine the time of year you want to get married, a specific date is not necessary yet.
- Start determining a guest list, write down names to really hone in on an estimated number.
- Decide now what kind of bride you want to be...calm, collected or stressed and worried? Choose now and stick with it!
As we near New Year's Eve I thought it would be the perfect time to share a little etiquette tip regarding toasting. The first toast should be made by the host (in a wedding that should be the father of the bride). The person delivering the toast should stand, speak clearly, keep it simple and to the point. If the toast is to honor a person or couple (like the bride and groom) that person of honor should not drink to themselves. Rather nod, smile and graciously thank the person who made the toast.
I've just returned from a week-long visit to my in-laws. It was a restful, food-centered, conversation filled week that was much-needed! Mama Gear loves to hear how much we love what she has given us, be it a gift or week stay at her home. So I always make sure to send her a thank you card (even though I show up with wine and other goodies as hostess gifts).
The thank you card seems to have moved to the endangered species list. Even with all the pretty ready-made cards, and amazing craft supplies out there, thank you cards are not doled out as often as they should be, so I challenge you to write one per week for the next few months. If you are getting married then this should be common practice during much of your engagement and immediately following your wedding.
Keys to make it real: state why you are thankful, what you are thankful for, make it sentimental and sappy if necessary. Speak from the heart and hand-write the note. Always mail within 48 hours of receiving the gift. Really, try it, it is possible.
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